Keep reminding myself.

Back to Work

I went back to work on January 4th. For the most part its been wonderful. I enjoy seeing the kids, and the people I work with. I have been exhausted every afternoon though. To the point that I really don't want to even do anything after work..including cooking dinner for the kids. Thankfully, I don't have to do it except for 2 days a week. Joe is home on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, so he does the cooking on those days. I don't think we've ever planned it that way, it just happened during the last 2 years, if he's home, he cooks. Not very fair to him, I know, and I hate it, but I just can't focus on one more thing after work. I love my job, I enjoy most of the people there (there is one man that I just can't stand, and unfortunately, I have to have lunch with him every day. But, I can handle that.) , but the several hours there, and moving around, and remember I have been on my back/butt for about 6 months previous to going back to work, is just killing me. My back is achy, but I'm scared to go to the chiropractor, because laying on my front side? Not so comfy anymore. I know I need to go see my general practitioner because I need my thyroid checked, it's off by a lot, I am sure. I haven't had my cymbalta for months, because, honestly, I ran out, I was wide open, and didn't have the patience to see just one more doctor, and get poked and prodded and have MORE blood work. And, the money situation, while, we aren't as bad off as a lot of people, Joe has a great job, with a good salary, its hard when the 'extra' money you count on for simple things, like prescriptions, groceries, and random stuff isn't there for 6 months. I'm thinking that I definitely need to get back on an antidepressant, but I just don't want to go to the dr. I can feel the depression creeping back up on me though, and it is not going to give me a choice. I am rambling, not only here, but in my life too..not really sure what point I'm trying to make, but still trying to get there. Anyway, I love my job, I'm glad to be back to work, and I am pretty sure that by the time summer vacation rolls around, I'll be back in the swing of the job. :{ sigh..

New Year's Resolution

So, I've decided that the only resolution I am really going to make for 2012 is this: NO surgery at all this year. Its been a helluva long 2 years, after the double mastectomy, and the immediate reconstruction, and that not working, and the removal of the expanders, the port, the port removal, the Tramflap, and THAT not healing properly, and finally, the closing of the abdominal wound. I am surgeried out. I am tired of anesthetic. I know that the anesthetic has been a part of the short term memory issues I've had, on top of the chemo, and just the general stress of cancer period. So..no surgeries for me this year. God Willing.